Loudspeaker: May I have your attention please — the Department of Homeland Security has raised the threat level to (ominous voice) Orange (/ominous voice).

Well, they finally got my swiss army knife. I’ve remembered to put it in checked luggage every other trip, I just didn’t check anything this time. Apparently you can store things in a zip-lock bag for $1 a day, but they couldn’t tell me how to get it back if I did — they seemed honestly confused as to why someone might not want to just throw such a useful thing away. Again I wonder how much anti-Americanism is the result of people trying to visit, aren’t we past the idea that someone can take over an airplane with a pen-knife yet. some good news though, apparently inhalers aren’t a problem any more and my laptop can no longer be a bomb, maybe they just bug every person for only one thing.

Also, I don’t mean to be rude, but if you can’t fit into the seat without raising the armrests, that means you’re flowing into me, and it’s uncomfortable.