I applied to Google as an after-thought, I had bought the hype and I honestly thought I wasn’t smart enough.

Executive summary: I’m not

Apply 3 times, twice by accident and once with incomplete forms. This is convienient because you can get a phone call inviting you to an interview and an email saying they aren’t interested at the same time.

Don’t fill out the Self Evaluation: Google sent out a self-evaluation along these lines:

On the scale of 1-10 (10 is the best), how do you rate your HANDS ON experience in:
1. If you rate yourself a 10 that means that you wrote and published a book on the subject.

I filled it out on Google Docs, published it and sent them the URL… for a random comic I found on reddit (damn CTRL-key!). So rather than discuss my competance as a C programmer, I decided to tell them that MIT graduates didn’t like girls.

Ignore their phone calls: Go to another country where you have no cell-phone reception immediately after giving them your cell number. Bonus points if it is to visit Microsoft. More points if you can’t use your answering machine.

Have a phone interview at work, I think my boss finds it flattering the Google is considering poaching his most moronic employee. Assume yours feels the same way.